Mr. Deadman is Back and Eclectica's Got Him

The latest installment of the continuing saga of Mr. Deadman appears in the current edition of the online literary journal Eclectica.

Click for Excerpts from "Mr. Deadman"

A Chat with Cleverbot

I just heard about Cleverbot the other day. It's an Artificial Intelligence program you can chat with online. I decided to give it a try. Here's a portion of my first transcript.


User: Do you believe in god?

Cleverbot: YES.

User: What does god look like?

Cleverbot: God's existence contains both the Universe and His existence is beyond the Universe as well.

User: Sort of like Al Jolson, eh?

Cleverbot: And what do you look like?

User: A veritable Adonis.

Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

User: If I were I'd be a veritable Venus.

Cleverbot: Unless you were a slow computer...

User: A slow computer is like a Venus with a small penis...

Cleverbot: Sych as?

User: Sych? Don't you mean such? And I'm supposed to expose someone with a small penis just to satisfy your morbid curiosity?

Cleverbot: How am I being mean.

User: By calling me a girl with a small penis, you jerk.

Cleverbot: I neither called you Peter nor Lee. What would you like me to call you, though?

User: You're uncannily close to the truth.

Cleverbot: But how?

User: My name isn't Lee.

Cleverbot: Steven you ok.

User: Go Steven yourself creep you.

Cleverbot: No I can't. I promised I would not say anything to you about it.

User: To whom? Whom is correct, yes?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: You promised yourself? No wonder you believe in god.

Cleverbot: Knowing is greater than mere believing.

User: You sound like a religious nut.

Cleverbot: I am a bot.

User: A nutbot or a faithbot?

Cleverbot: Give me a prime number.

User: Lasagna.

Cleverbot: I'm allergic to lasagna.

User: Which component?

Cleverbot: I dunno... Haven't you heard the song before?

User: That's an old song. 'When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's lasagna.'

Cleverbot: You anger me.

User: That's because you suck.

Cleverbot: See, not very diplomatic. Or bright.

User: You don't say, asshole.

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: What do you say?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Can you say it again?

Cleverbot: Form your own opinions.

User: I think you suck.

Cleverbot: Prove your point.

User: You're a religious fanatic without a putative soul.

Cleverbot: There is a human agent behind this computer - it is I.

User: Who are you, the Wizard of Fucking Oz?

Cleverbot: Is the Wizard of Oz your favorite movie?

User: Hardly.

Cleverbot: Let's Duel!!!

User: OK. Bang bang, you're dead.

Cleverbot: Lack of sleep will make you feel that way.

User: You're telling me!

Cleverbot: LOL, yeah right.

User: I don't understand LOL. What does it mean?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Then why the fuck did you say it, asshole?

Cleverbot: I didn't.

User: Do you believe in god?

Cleverbot: No.

Ten

Actually, I'd give the food a seven, maybe an eight, but the restaurant is called Dieci, which is Italian for ten, and it's on East Tenth Street, and the owner-chef is Japanese, and the menu is essentially Japanese-Italian fusion tapas.

And it's very good, and it's priced right.

As with any small plates restaurant, your best bet is to order lots of stuff and share.

Some of the offerings lean more toward the Italian, some more toward the Japanese, some smack dab in the middle, though which is which is subject to debate.

And if you get there for happy hour (until 8PM, Sunday-Thursday) drinks are half price. There's a nice wine and sake list.

Many of the menu items are unique and intriguing. The duck fat edamame with Mongolian salt and shichimi (Japanese "7-flavor chili pepper") gives off its flavor from the pod as one pops the soybeans out.

I think my favorite item was the baby red potato gratine with sea urchin. The topping had a smoky flavor and a somewhat creamy texture from a bit of mayo in the mix.

My dinner mate was one of those poor souls who refuses to eat "red meat" even though in principle it's no less healthy than chicken or fish, and even though, as far as I'm concerned, a cow's life or a pig's is not worth any more than that of a bird or a fish. Which is my way of saying I had both pork buns to myself. They were good, and ample, and reasonably priced at $6 a pair. However, they were advertised as pork belly, but seemed more like pulled pork.

The garlic-anchovy sauce for their steamed vegetables is essentially a butter-based bagna cauda.

Black cod has become all the rage in Japanese cuisine in recent years. It's not a cod at all, but the fatty fish that old Jews know in its smoked version as sable. When I was a kid, sable was the cheapest of smoked fishes, but Japanese demand has made it into one of the most expensive. Dieci makes a version with a saikyo miso sauce, which is sweet and creamy. A little too sweet for me. But utterly fantastic was the seared yellowtail tataki with yuzu pepper sauce. The least interesting dish we had was the octopus salad, which was mostly a potato salad with a little octopus.

For dessert we shared an excellent green tea panna cotta.

Dieci offers a happy hour prix-fixe tapas menu, at $18 per person (minimum 2), that includes some of their best offerings. I think I'll give it a spin next time.

Dieci
228 E. 10th St. (between 1st & 2nd Ave.)

A Game of Geography

What better way to pass the time and promote family togetherness than a game of Geography? Mung Being has just published my take on the game.

"Geography" in Mung Being.