Catalogs

I love looking at catalogs, all sorts of catalogs, but my favorite ones are from the novelty and "gift" houses. When I was a kid my stepfather used to order from places like Hanover House and Spencer Gifts all the time.  I remember, we were the only family on the block with three blackhead removers. And we had one of those wonderful battery-operated ashtrays with the little boy whose trousers come down so he can piss on your cigarette when you're through. But my favorite item was the go-go dancer drink mixer. It was a miniature rubber go-go dancer, scantily clad, battery-operated. You would pour liquor into a metal tumbler the doll held, then press a red button, and she'd start to shake; that's how your drink would get mixed. We had a small bar, and that's where my stepfather kept the go-go mixer, right next to the lamp he had also ordered from one of those catalogs, you know the kind of lamp I mean, the kind that says "BAR."