Auld Lang Syne
Two: Why are you singing that?
One: In celebration of the new year.
Three: But New Year's was a month ago.
One: I know, but I completely forgot to sing it then.
Two: You can't sing "Auld Lang Syne" after the fact. You missed your chance. Now you have to wait until next New Year's Eve.
Three: Yeah, who ever heard of retroactive "Auld Lang Syne?"
One: Is there some kind of law that says I can only sing "Auld Lang Syne" on New Year's Eve?
Three: Just the law of common decency.
One: Who am I offending?
Two: It's not so much a matter of offending anybody. It's that you're upsetting the natural order of the universe.
One: The natural order of the universe! Are you serious? New Year's Eve is a man-made construct. Different cultures celebrate the new year at different times.
Two: And we'd expect them to sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the appropriate time.
One: Do the Chinese sing "Auld Lang Syne?"
Two: I don't know.
Three: I've never thought about it.
Two & Three: We'll check on it and get back to you.